The change a ring makes
It’s amazing the way getting engaged will legitimize your relationship in the eyes of the world.
When I’ve confessed relationship troubles to my mom in the past, her advice has always been centered on doing what is best for me, which, she mostly thought, was not to waste my time on losers (and I have to say that was good advice that I ignored for too long). But when I called and talked with her tonight, she was comforting and reassuring, telling me that my sickness and exhaustion were magnifying what were really small problems. She really made me feel a lot better about everything that was bothering me.
And I’m feeling our relationship begin to change. We’ve talked to each other as adults for a while now, but now we’re beginning to relate as married adults, which is a whole different category. I know I’m not married yet, but something about announcing the intent really changes the way our relationship is viewed.
James pointed out the other day that there are two big milestones that make your car insurance premiums go down: turning 25 or getting married.
Maybe because I’m still in my 20s, but I’ve never felt discriminated against because I’m single. However, now that I’m hovering on the edge of being married, it feels like doors are opening up all over. I read a piece in the New York Times over the weekend, Spread the Wealth of Spousal Rights by Dalton Conley that lists all the benefits of marriage. Conley’s point is that if we were to disentangle these rights from the institution of marriage, the whole gay marriage debate would become moot. The story really drove home the fact that our society favors the married.
I never thought of getting married as entering a world of privilege.
