I am dreading August. I think I am actually afraid of it.

Everything at The Journal is changing. The owners decided to cut their losses and shut down our print shop. We have an antiquated press and cannot afford to upgrade. Some people were laid off and all our deadlines have changed, since we now have to get our pages to an outside printer.

James has been, and is, instrumental in this process. He has a lot on his plate now and is very stressed out with all the meetings and preparations and putting out fires before they start.

Then, at my other job, we have a new chef, new menu and new procedures. And I have to buy black shirts for the new uniform.

We’re doing a tasting of the new menu Friday, which I’m looking forward to. If the main dishes are as good as the desserts we tried, it will be a very good thing indeed.

And then there’s the wedding. Only 39 days to go, according to The Knot. Yikes!

I made a list last night of everything we still have to do. It’s long. And I’m sure I’m missing something. I’ve already thought of another thing and forgotten it. Sigh.

But the napkin rings are coming along beautifully. I’ve got 60 that are just waiting for their final touches. And I really like the paper I’m using in them (thanks, Sharon, that’s from your box of leftovers), so I think I’m going to make escort cards out of it, too.

That’s what I forgot to put on the list: escort cards, table numbers, seating chart. But I can’t do that until the RSVPs are in.

It’s going to be a hard month.

My shower was Saturday. Everyone did a wonderful job of keeping it a secret, even though I found out the date (I mysteriously had Saturday off — no way to avoid that tip-off). I wasn’t even sure of the location until we actually pulled into my aunt’s driveway.

They set up a food tent and a wine tent in my aunt’s backyard in the center of Blandford, Mass. It was HOT, but there was enough shade (and cool wine!) to make it comfortable.

Heather (MOH) and Sarah (BM) did an amazing job, with the help of several others (Mom, Aunt Mary, Wendy, Brion…to name just a few). It was a lovely afternoon shower and I think everyone enjoyed it.

And we got tons of great loot, which is still mostly packed up in the dining room. But I did manage to get thank-you cards in the mail today!

The biggest surprise was my cousin Barbara, who came all the way from New Zealand for my shower (okay, she came to see Snooky, my aunt in the hospital in Florida, and swung by the shower before heading home; still, it was a wonderful surprise).

The theme was wine tasting and everyone brought a bottle of wine. I picked three to open and then picked my favorite of the three. Then the person who brought the winning bottle got a prize. (I picked a savignon blanc with a leopard on it — it even had leopard spots on the cork, which pushed it into first — that my cousin Sharon brought.)

Heather also made up a bunch of photo boards, including one with photos of me at different ages. We played guess the bride’s age and the winner of that won a prize, too. (My cousin Becky got 11 out of 20 for first place; I only got 7 right and James got 6.)

Heather made all the food and Sarah and Wendy brought amazing cakes from a bakery in Boston.

Here are a couple of photos from the day. My camera didn’t have batteries, so I’m waiting for people to send me pics. Check out my gallery for updates.

I met up with Kara and her girls, Emily and Maya, in Pittsfield last night to work out flower girl dresses. The girls are 6 and absolutely adorable.

Kara’s mom is making their dresses, so we headed over to Jo-Ann Fabrics to pick out a pattern and material.

Here’s the dress we picked:

The girls also said they wanted to throw petals, so I’m going to get some of those fabric petals from Michaels (probably in green, since the church has a maroon carpet) and Kara said she has baskets. So we’re pretty much set.

It was so much fun to hang out with them. They’re getting so big! I bought them each one of those stuffed Audubon birds, you know, the ones that sound their call when you squeeze them.

Kara said she can’t wait until I have kids and she can buy them annoying toys.

The napkin rings are coming along, I’m meeting up with my friend Kara, whose girls will be flower girls, tomorrow to discuss their dresses, and I’m gathering clues about when my mystery shower will be (though I’m totally flummoxed on the where).

But what’s really taking up my energy right now is family stuff. My aunt, Janice (more commonly known as Snooky), is in the hospital. She’s improving, thank goodness, but it was looking pretty scary for a while. My parents are in Florida with her and I’ve been trying to do what I can from here. It looks like she won’t be able to travel for the wedding (which I know is the least of anyone’s concerns right now, but I think she was looking forward to it; she’s had her room booked since March).

It’s hard to not be physically present to help wherever I can, but that’s the way things have played out.

Invitations are in the mail! I had so much fun addressing them, imagining every person reading them and coming to the wedding.

When I dropped them off at the post office, the worker there, Jill, was so sweet. At one point I said, “No turning back now!” And she said, “You wouldn’t really want to.”

She’s right. I can’t wait to marry James.

In other news, the copper arrived tonight and I’ve begun the napkin rings. The copper is a little tougher than I’d like and my wire cutters don’t work as well as I’d like, but I’m making progress. I have 8 ring bases made, 4 folded and 4 more cut. I still have to buy the glass, but I’m in good shape.

We went to Six Flags New England over the weekend with Sarah (bridesmaid) and Wendy and had such a blast. So nice to get out and not worry about work, other work, money or wedding for a few hours. And the Superman roller coaster was amazing, and that’s coming from a roller coaster whimp.

I cannot believe how many things are getting done. I was really worried about two weeks ago that there would be no way to pull this off. But somehow, we’re being really productive.

The biggest news is that James has a best man. Mark, who works with us at The Journal, will fill the position. James and Mark have known each other for years. Mark was a sort of Big Brother to James way back when. He’s very supportive and proud of James. I think it was the perfect choice.

And Mark is very excited, too. Within about 5 minutes, he was online looking up his duties. James is in good hands.

I also have my shoes. I ordered from Endless.com and it was a wonderful experience. The first pair I ordered were just a little too small — the plastic straps were cutting in too much. I returned them and ordered a size larger with no problems (well, technically my credit hasn’t shown up yet, but I didn’t have to pay for postage, and I have shoes that fit, so I’m happy).

I wanted to post a photo, but the site has a fun flash feature that lets you look at the shoe from every angle. I got the Tiffany Slide in bronze. They match the jewelry I got for my bridesmaids perfectly.

Other big news is invitations! They are designed, printed and sitting in my kitchen. James and I are headed to Target for the express purpose of buying a fancy pen for me to address the invites. I’m off from both jobs for three days this weekend, so I should have plenty of time to address them. And I’ve already bought all the postage (much cheaper than I was planning; I thought it would be at least $100, but it was only $60; shows how well I can add).

We met with Shaffin at the Wake Robin on Tuesday to talk about our cake. I convinced James that it was okay to have carrot cake in a wedding cake, so we’re doing three layers: white cake on bottom, carrot in the middle and white on top. Buttercream frosting. We have a cute cake topper picked out but not purchased and the baker is going to talk to our florist about getting some blooms for decoration.

For some reason, the cake isn’t a big deal for me. I want it to taste good and look nice, but I don’t have a dream cake and I really don’t care much about the decorations. So we’re just trusting that it will be pretty. Everything else they do is great, so I’m not worried.

And I know that invitations to my shower have gone out, but that’s about all I know about that. I’m trying to be good and not press for details, but it would be so easy, especially when a coworker slipped up and told me she got an invitation.

The other thing that is taking an enormous amount of restraint is staying off the Bed, Bath and Beyond website. I figure when stuff starts to move off the registry, the shower is getting close. But I’m going to try not to look until after the shower. At that point I’ll have to look so I know whether to add more stuff.

This weekend will be full of relaxing, spending time with James (we work and live together and lately still feel like we never see each other), addressing invitations and making napkin rings (if my copper mesh shows up today like it’s supposed to).

And then things will really start to get crazy…