I have been a bad wedding blogger, but I think when you hear what I’ve been up to, you’ll forgive me. At least, I hope so.Back on May 10, James and I met up with Melissa and Reed, who are also being married at the Wake Robin. Really sweet couple and we had a great time. Hopefully we’ll be able to hook up again.

On the home front, I’ve taken a second job to avoid putting any more wedding expenses on a credit card. I’m waitressing and hosting at The White Hart, a cozy hometown pub with an upscale menu. I am enjoying it so far (especially the tip money!), but I’m starting to get tired. At least I’ll have Memorial Day off from both jobs.

So, what’s left to do for the wedding? I’m glad you asked. Here’s a list:

Napkin rings!
Male wedding party (one down, two to go…)
Invitations (must be designed by the end of this month…that’s only a week!)
Favors?
Flower girl dresses (I keep forgetting to call their mom. Put that on the list.)
Groom’s outfit
Two more pew decorations to make
Buy materials for centerpieces
Call guests about room rate reduction
Figure out ceremony and music
Write vows
Finish paying for and pick up rings (engraving?)
Undergarments and shoes for the bride
Attendant gifts (I have my eye on a couple of things, just need to buy them)
Tiara, if I’m really going to do it (I want one!)
Cake topper (again, picked out, just have to buy)
Cake! We have done nothing with the cake!

Okay, I’m getting a little more frantic with each line I type, so I’m going to leave it at that for now. Things are crazy busy, but I think I can do all this. And if I can’t, well, we’ll still be married if I never get a tiara. That is, as long as we remember the marriage license. Put that on the list, too!

We have been flat out all of November and December isn’t looking much better.  James has been ridiculously bogged down at work and was handed a side project he couldn’t say no to ($500 right before the holidays?  who can pass that up?).

So while he worked all weekend, I cleaned all weekend.  With the craziness of NaNoWriMo behind me, I went a little nuts, doing all the things that have been on my nerves since Nov. 1.

I put away all the detrius of our Thanksgiving travel then cleaned just about the whole house.  Then I got out the Christmas decorations and had fun with that. I’ll have to take another pic of the mantel.

I also made ginger snaps for James, since he was working so hard.  And cute candy train ornaments with the youth group (I broke mine, and then our pastor broke it again, so I don’t have one to show off; they’re supposed to go to the people at the nursing homes we carol at, anyway). It was not a very relaxing weekend, but I was happy to get as much done as I did.

This week I look forward to writing more on this novel and figuring out the ending.  James is still sloshing his way through his projects.

Shaffin at the Wake Robin wants to sit down and discuss stuff  over drinks.  I’m thinking we might be able to do that next week; sounds like fun.  We owe another big payment before the end of the month.  It’s sitting in our money market account, but I’m loathe to part with it.  I love watching it earn interest.  We’ll be below the minimum balance for good interest once we make the payment.

No news on the car yet, though I did talk to the adjustor this morning.  He was supposed to make it out to Sharon Auto Body today to check it out.  Hope it’s fixable.  I can’t imagine having to get a new car now.  It would not be pretty. 

Over the weekend, we got a postcard in the mail from our local jeweler, Elizabeth’s in Millerton, N.Y., announcing a moving sale. They’re building a brand new store a few blocks away from the current one and should be moving in three weeks.

I told James we needed to go look at rings NOW. We had already planned to buy from them (part of our “shop local” wedding, plus I interviewed the owner for the paper and really liked her) and we really should take advantage of the sale.

He reluctantly agreed.

The reluctance was, I think, because now he has to make a decision. He always seems nervous about picking out things that he’s going to wear. He wants to look good and doesn’t really trust his judgement, though if you ask me, he has good taste. I mean, just look who he’s marrying (wink).

So we went over at lunch time. I made James try on just about every ring they had. He was pretty tight-lipped about what he liked (though he did offer that he didn’t like the hammered look), so I just picked my favorite. Both James and the clerk agreed.

We chose a white gold band with lines around (I just don’t have the right vocabulary to describe jewelry — I was going to bring a camera, but I forgot it). The lines are highly polished while the rest of the ring is more matte. It’s classy and understated, exactly what James was looking for.

I found a band that I really liked the last time we were in Elizabeth’s and I had Betsy write down the style number for me. It took a couple of minutes to find it again, but once we did, I remembered how much I liked it. It’s white gold with a few small diamonds (much smaller than what’s in my engagement ring). The band has a wheat pattern that compliments the detail work on the engagement ring.

I have standard sized fingers, apparently, because this band fit right off the shelf, too. James’s is a size too big, but since the sale only applies to items in stock, we got it anyway and will have it resized. The clerk said that the manufacturer will do that for free within a certain time span.

Also, we decided to put the rings on layaway. Since we don’t need them for a year, it seemed to make sense to pay for them more slowly and let the money sit in the bank account acruing interest for as long as possible.

We saved a good chunk because of the sale and will hopefully be saving more because of the layaway plan.

And I loved the way the ring looked on James’s hand. I think I’m almost more excited about his ring than about my own.

Last night Sarah and Wendy, owners of the strange little cat we’ve had staying with us for the last two weeks, stayed the night and took our houseguest with them this morning. Sarah’s mother was along for the ride, as well.

They told us all about Sarah’s brother’s wedding, which was a couple of weeks ago at the Botanical Gardens in New York. Sarah’s mother kept saying how elegant it was. Sarah stressed the importance of going around to every table; apparently some people felt shunned when they didn’t get a visit from the bride and groom. And the food. She loved the food. Wendy mostly remembered the bride’s mother, who freaked out about every 12 seconds and required Wendy about 100 people.

They also said they would be willing to go look at dresses in September with me.

We also talked about the budget dilemna: the three-hour bar vs. the five-hour bar. Sarah came up with the best advice I’ve heard yet. She suggested going with the three-hour bar for now and then adding on the extra hours if we find that enough people can’t make it to make it affordable.

Personally, it’s more important to me to have all the people who are special to me to be there. I hate the idea of excluding people so that we can have a couple extra hours of open bar. But this way (and the Wake Robin is very flexible; at least, so far), we can have the best of both worlds.

We got an initial contract from the Wake Robin on Sunday and the total cost was about $5,000 more than we want to spend on this reception. And this is not including the cake and dessert or the DJ/band.

So we send it out to our parents and look at ways to cut stuff. There’s some easy stuff, like the late-night snacks in the pub, but that only cuts about $230. Not much help.

But I looked at it closer, and I saw that the food and drinks are all included in the $99 per person rate. So the only way to cut it is to cut back on hours of open bar (we have 5 right now; I think 3 is reasonable, then go to a cash bar, but for some reason, Mom wanted 5) or to cut the guest list.

Right now we have 115 people on the guest list and are hard pressed to cut any more. At $99 a head, that comes to $11,385, only about $1,000 over what we want to spend. Not too shabby. So where’s the other $4,000 coming from?

Turns out it’s tax and gratuity. We can save 5% (most of the tax) if we pay in full by the New Year. That leaves us about $3,000 over budget.

$3,000 in tips? Is that insane? I’m going to have to look again, but I think that’s what it comes down to. Isn’t that like a 30% gratuity? I’m just doing quick and dirty math in my head. I hope I’m missing something.

I was browsing some wedding communities the other day, and one of the women there was raving about buying her dress online at Bridal Online.

I’m not entirely secure about the idea of buying a dress online, without trying it on, but there are so many great deals to be found on the Web. And a lot of people were saying this site was good. And I’ve heard a lot of other people raving about various other online dress purchases, including some who had dresses custom made for about $300.

So I looked around, and I came up with two dresses I like. Unfortunately, the site won’t let you copy the photos, so I can only post links.

Melinda

Faith

Melinda is more of what I usually think about when I think wedding gown. It’s the style I am most drawn to.

But Faith immediately made me think of The Princess Bride. I’ve always wanted a dress like that.

James really likes Faith, but I think I’m leaning toward Melinda. I’m hoping to be able to find dresses like them in stores to try on, so I can at least make sure the style is flattering on me.

But at $399 plus about $19 shipping, these are looking very attractive.

James looked at invitations with me last night! Alleluia!

I’m just kidding. He’s actually really good about giving input and talking about the wedding. Well, most of the time. He sometimes says that I’m planning things without him. But he says that when I ask him about something. I am looking for input; that’s why I’m asking.

I don’t know how to make him feel more involved. He’s so busy with work and his freelance projects that he never has time to look at flowers with me. And he says that we have so long to decide on things, why worry about it now?

But, anyway, we did talk about invitations last night.

He didn’t like most of what I had picked out, but he did get very excited over a very simple monogram with a colored sleeve. We have tons of time, but I think the longer you have an idea in the back of your head, the better the eventual design will be.

I also emailed with my cousin, Sharon, yesterday. She’s thinking about having Edible Arrangements instead of floral centerpieces. As she says, if you can’t see around the centerpiece, you can just eat the chocolate covered strawberry that’s in your way. I think it’s a great idea. I’m so glad I’m going to her wedding!

James really likes the idea of having apples with sticks in them to hold the escort cards, so I’m sure we’ll do that. Maybe I can come up with a way to incorporate apples into the centerpieces, too. Growers Box has 168 gerbera daisy stems for $280. 336 for $500. I have no idea how many I would need, but I think those prices will save me some money. I just have to figure out how to arrange them. My editor volunteered herself and some other women from the office (unbeknownst to them) to help decorate the tables, so once I figure out what I’m doing, I’ll have help.

We set a date! I called The Wake Robin and gave them my credit card for the $1,000 deposit, which is also the site fee, and we’re booked for Sept. 6, 2008.

It is so wonderful to have a date and a location set. I feel like I can relax a little now. I mean, we have a year and a half. But I really wanted to make sure we could get the place we wanted on the date we wanted.

We still have to sit down and come up with a contract, but I’m not in a rush to do that. The deposit is fully refundable until we sign the contract. Oh, and if we pay in full by the end of the year, they’ll take 5% off the top. So that would save us tax, just about.

I am so excited to have a date!

We met with Shaffin at The Wake Robin Inn. Not only is the place perfect, but they will give us an amazing price break for being local. They offer three packages, standard prices ranging from $99 to $139. For us, the top package will be only $99. That means we can afford our 100 people! And this is before negotiating anything. We didn’t talk details, but they penciled us in for the Saturday after Labor Day, 2008.

We didn’t tell them this, of course, but they’re the only place we’re considering. Mom insisted I check out The Interlaken, but they’re both more expensive. Even before you consider the break the Wake Robin is giving us.

Also, the Wake Robin is just more our type of place. It’s less pretentious, and the owners, Shaffin and Michael, are so community minded. Michael is president of the Chamber of Commerce and they are always hosting community events at the Inn. It’s important to James to keep as much of our money local as possible and there is no one I would rather give it to.

I came across an idea last night, in one of the bridal magazines Sharon gave me, that I really like, so I wanted to be sure to write it down: leaving goodie bags in out-of-towners’ hotel rooms. The magazine, of course, had really expensive goodies in it, but I bet I could come up with something cheap. Maybe cut out write ups the paper does on local restaurants, photocopy some maps, stick in some cookies or candies or something from one of the local shops.

I hope people will stay at the Inn. Provided we do our reception there (I’m pretty sure we will, barring extreme expense, which shouldn’t happen — I hear they have a discount for locals).

I was thinking about cash bars, too. Mom said she liked the $139 per person package the Inn offers, which includes 5 hours of open bar. The people on The Knot think they’re horrible and you should never make your guests pay for drinks. But at $139 per person, we can only have 71 guests (assuming we only spend $10,000 on the reception, and I really don’t want to spend any more than that). As a guest, I’d prefer an open bar, but if I have to pay, hey, that’s better than no alcohol.

Maybe we can go with just beer and wine. I haven’t talked to anyone at the Inn yet, but I bet that would save a bundle.