Invitations are in the mail! I had so much fun addressing them, imagining every person reading them and coming to the wedding.

When I dropped them off at the post office, the worker there, Jill, was so sweet. At one point I said, “No turning back now!” And she said, “You wouldn’t really want to.”

She’s right. I can’t wait to marry James.

In other news, the copper arrived tonight and I’ve begun the napkin rings. The copper is a little tougher than I’d like and my wire cutters don’t work as well as I’d like, but I’m making progress. I have 8 ring bases made, 4 folded and 4 more cut. I still have to buy the glass, but I’m in good shape.

We went to Six Flags New England over the weekend with Sarah (bridesmaid) and Wendy and had such a blast. So nice to get out and not worry about work, other work, money or wedding for a few hours. And the Superman roller coaster was amazing, and that’s coming from a roller coaster whimp.

We’re booked for our honeymoon! We’ll be spending Sept. 20 to 27 at the Sunsest Beach Club on the Costa del Sol in Spain.

Yes, Spain!

I am so excited. It’s southern Spain, so we can even make a day trip to Morocco. Two continents in one trip!

We’re still working on the airfare. But I already took out travel books from the library.

We survived Thanksgiving.  Just barely.

Insane as we are, we decided to do a whirlwind trip of the south.  We left Lakeville around 1 p.m. on Wednesday and arrived in Wilmington, N.C., around 3 a.m. Thursday.  My mother was awake to greet us, unsurprisingly.

Surprisingly, we only slept until 8.  I think I had too much caffeine on the trip down.  James slept for the last four hours or so, so I guess he just had enough sleep. My aunt, Pat, cooked an amazing dinner and we stuffed ourselves.

 We then went for a walk to try to find some turtles to feed.  We did eventually find turtles, but they must have had their own Thanksgiving dinner because they weren’t interested in our bread.  It was 70 degrees and sunny.  A slight wind picked up as the sun went down and my “southern” mother complained about how cold it was. 

The next day James and I were up early to hit some of the Black Friday sales.  We got my birthday present, a Bulova watch, for half price.  I also go some shoes and a new purse.  James got a fleece that he intends to wear under his puff vest in place of a true winter jacket.  He also got a new hard drive and a selection of winter beer.

 Dad took us to Pottery Plus, where he works, and I got decorations for our mantel.  Dad complains about coming home from work covered in glitter, but as it was my first true holiday shopping of the season, I would have been happy to roll around in the stuff.

We also stopped to pick up some giant pine cones.  I have visions of a forest of green glitter pine cone trees.

Saturday we left bright and early for Virginia, James’s family and another turkey dinner.  James’s brother and his family were able to join us, so James spent most of the time trying to charm his 2-year-old nephew.  (I love it when James looks at me and says, “Let’s get one.”  We know we’re a few years away from that, but it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.)

I fell asleep while James was playing Wii with his  brother and sister.  I drooled all over my arm and the chair I was sleeping in, but I don’t think anyone noticed me wiping the slobber from my face.

Another early morning and another round of goodbyes and we were on the road.  We were making good time and hoping to get home early when we hit traffic on 95, north of Baltimore.

And I mean, we hit traffic.  A bus changed lanes, which prompted a pickup truck to change lanes, which took up all the cushion space between us and traffic.The front of my car crumpled.  I said afterward that it did exactly what it was supposed to do:  the crumple zone took the impact and we were unharmed.

We pulled off the highway and spent about 30 minutes trying to find somebody who was open who could look at the car and tell us  whether we could drive it another several hundred miles.  We finally found a PepBoys, but the man there wouldn’t commit to anything.

We finally decided to risk it.  As James said, even if we break down, we’ll at least be a little closer to home.

We made it.  It was a very tense eight hours or so as we searched for alternate routes to avoid as much traffic as possible.  We were worried about overheating if the radiator was cracked.

My car is now sitting at the auto body shop, waiting for the insurance adjustor.  This was $500 I really wasn’t planning to spend, but it’s a small price to pay for getting home safely.

Reason number 154 why I love James:  He can hold it together when I can’t.  

James and I went down to Stamford this weekend, where our friend Kate works at Bed Bath & Beyond to set up our registry.

Let me just say, Kate was amazing. She stayed with us for three hours and guided us through the store, making suggestions and recommendations. She said that we did get some special treatment (she wouldn’t usually stay with a couple that long), but even if we didn’t know her, I would have loved to have gotten that much help. The store is huge and overwhelming without a guide.

The whole experience went pretty smoothly. James turned out to be the picky one. I liked just about everything, so it was mostly a matter of finding which things he likes as well. We agreed pretty easily on the china, flatware and pans. The crystal was harder, and finally James just let me pick what I wanted.

Kate complimented James on being so involved. She said most grooms get bored and hang back.

To find our registry, go to the site and enter one of our names in the registry section. It’s still a work in progress (do we really need a $150 toothbrush?), but I think the bulk of it is there.

(As the sane one, I have reserved the right to edit all posts to bring them more in line with reality. You know, the one you can touch, see, feel and hear. Please see the end of this post for a jump back to reality.)

Another wedding milestone: James had his first wedding-related breakdown this weekend.

We sat down together to do the save the dates (finally!). James starts playing with our “Kennedy photo” that I wanted to use for the magnets. But the more we look at it, the more we each are uncomfortable with how we look in the photo (might have something to do with that 22 inch LCD monitor he has hooked up — I never want to see that many details of my own face). So we go to our engagement photo CDs and start looking for one from there. Then it became a question of black and white or color.

Finally, finally we have a photo we like. But then James says he doesn’t like the idea of the magnets.

Now, since we got engaged I have been blathering on and on about how excited I am to send out magnets, I love the idea, yay magnets. At one point James even said, “Oh, that’ll be easy since I have that magnetic paper. We can just print our own.”

But now he hates magnets.

He suggests postcards instead (I envisioned magnets on postcards, but this is fine, whatever). I get excited, because I think that if we just send postcards, we can save so much money: we won’t need envelops, the postage will be less, it will be nice and easy.

So we go along that route for a while until James says, “But how are you going to fit all that information on a postcard? Alternate hotels, things to do in the area, restaurants…”

I try to explain to him that a save the date is just a simple little card announcing the date.

That’s when the meltdown happens. He goes off on a whole rant about what a dumb idea it is to just send a postcard with no information but the date; how is anybody going to plan anything? And wasn’t I supposed to be gathering all this information anyway? Why aren’t I more prepared? And we never do anything the way he wants to do it.

I talked him down. If he wants to send out whole packets of info, I’m all for it. I suggest we come back to the project after he finishes his most recent freelance assignment (which he hadn’t even started at this point, so I’m sure that was stressing him out). That way I would have time to pull everything together.

As much as I don’t enjoy getting yelled at, it was kind of fun to hear him insist on making things just so. I love it when he cares about the wedding.

<rant>
Clarification:
We agreed to do the packets because none of my family lives within 600 miles of me and it would be good for planning purposes.

Just as with the bud vases, I didn’t agree to the magnets and there was a certain amount of facetiousness attached to “let’s print them at home” statement.

And furthermore, I fully understand what all of the other robots do with their save the dates. A small card with no info that gets sent out to make everyone look at their pretty (or not) faces a year before the wedding. I think it’s a waste of money to only send out a save the date with no other info. Chances are if you are inviting someone to your wedding you will keep in touch so there is no need to send out a mailing when you could get on the horn and yak their ears off.

By including a postcard in the packet and not as a separate mailed piece we still get to show off our pretty faces but I don’t have the postal service defiling my design with government mandated markings, i.e. postage stamps and routing info.

That all being said: Stop. It’s Hammer Time. </rant>

Further Clarification

The packets we discussed were for the welcome bags in the hotel room. We never actually discussed mailing them out. — JLK

The last time my friend Kate and her boyfriend Dave came to visit, she noticed a camp ground off Route 7 in Sharon. She asked if we could camp there sometime this summer.

Sure, whatever. It’s only 20 minutes from home, but camping is fun.

Housatonic Meadows is a beautiful site. Small, but that’s part of its charm. We had a great site at the end of a cul-de-saq, very wooded, private enough. A bit of a slope, which meant we kinda slid downhill all night, but that wasn’t too much of a problem.

We all brought a ton of food and spent a lot of time cooking and eating. And just generally hanging out, enjoying each other’s company by the fire.

On Sunday we trudged up river (in the river) until we found a spot deep enough to swim. The temperature was perfect, the current was strong and the river was peaceful. No better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Again it hit James and me how much we enjoy getting out and doing things with people (Kate and Dave in particular). It sounds funny to say it that way, but we often get caught up in work and freelance projects and just being tired. This was the perfect antidote to a crazy week of heart monitors and losing pets.

On the drive back home, I kept marveling at the beauty of the Northwest Corner.

“I can’t believe we live here,” I said, not for the first time.

This week, I hit an important wedding planning milestone: I got so frustrated with everything that I told James I wanted to just elope. We could hop a plane to Vegas, get married and be back before Monday and not have to worry about all this wedding stuff any more.

It’s a little discouraging to think that we’ve got over a year until the wedding and I’ve already had this impulse.

James talked me down, telling me I’d regret it. And I know it’s not what he wants.

The pressure to have a fairy tale wedding, plus to keep all family members, friends and other assorted hangers on happy and smiling, is just too much sometimes.

Maybe instead of Vegas, we could just get on a boat and be married by a captain.

I just need a dress…then I could do it…maybe…

Well, I did it. I survived a weekend with James’s extended family. We went down for James’s sister’s graduation.

On Thursday we scooted out of work at 3 and started the long drive down to Virginia. I swear, as much as I enjoy our roadtrips, nothing ever goes as planned. We hit so much traffic due to construction. And when we got to D.C. (I was driving; James was sleeping; it was about 1 a.m., I think), the on ramp to 95, which we needed to get on, was completely closed down due to an accident.

I woke James up and told him I couldn’t get on 95, I was going to have to go 495. He mumbled something about how only crazy people drive through D.C. and we wanted 495 anyway. He assured me it would run into 95 again.

Well, it did. In Maryland. I drove us in a big circle, wasting about an hour. I was so frustrated, I cried and yelled at the road signs. I woke James up and he assured me it was no big deal. One of the things I love most about him is his ability to be calm when I’m losing it.

So we got to Chesapeake and James’s mom’s house around 5 a.m. Stumbled into James’s sister’s room and passed out for a few hours.

When we woke, there was an adorable toddler running through the hallways. He burst in on me in the bathroom (he loves to open and close doors), but I couldn’t even be angry, he was so cute.

Carolina’s graduation wasn’t until 3, so we spent the morning hanging out with James’s brother, sister-in-law and nephew. Around 1 or 1:30, James’s grandmother, uncle and aunt showed up, along with Carolina’s boyfriend and his mother. We piled into cars to caravan to the convocation center in Norfolk.

This place was huge. Virginia high schools are much bigger than Connecticut high schools.

Applause, pictures, diplomas, caps and gowns, the usual graduation stuff. We climbed back into the cars and battled the traffic back to James’s mother’s house, then all ordered Chinese. Man, I miss living in an area where people will deliver food to you.

The next day those of us staying at James’s mom’s house headed to Virginia Beach for a day by the ocean while those staying in a hotel spent the day at Jamestown. I would have liked to go to Jamestown, and hope to get there eventually, but it was such a nice day, I couldn’t resist the beach.

James’s brother and his family left that night and James and I snuck out for a dinner alone. On Sunday we stopped at the hotel to say goodbye to Grandma, Aunt Debbie and Uncle Daniel before heading back north. After many hours of sitting in traffic, we made it home.

It was a stressful weekend, with all the family and all the traveling, but James and I didn’t fight once. He got frustrated with his family, but I never did. I just went along for the ride. They weren’t my family, so I wasn’t so invested in the drama. I was able to step back and enjoy the good parts without having to stress over the bad ones.

I wonder if that will be the case in a few years, when they get used to me and let down their guard.

You know you’ve picked a winner of a fiance when he doesn’t say one word of complaint about being dragged to your 10-year high school reunion.

I went to a private school, so a reunion is a big deal. This one ran from Friday to Sunday and included tons of food and booze. James was mostly excited at the prospect of free (I paid) food and drink all weekend. I was excited to see my friends.

At our 5-year reunion, everyone was just out of college and at their first job. Everyone dressed in their best “going out” clothes and drank like, well, 20-something New Yorkers at an open bar. There was some catching up, but mostly it was about doing things we weren’t allowed to do when we were students.

The 10-year is the year of the significant other. I’d say at least half of my classmates brought husbands, wives, fiances or girl- and boyfriends. In my group of close friends, only two of us weren’t married, and I brought my fiance.

This reunion, for me, wasn’t about seeing people I never talk to and haven’t thought of in the past 10 years. It was about spending time with the people I care about and never get to see. And getting to know their husbands a bit better.

I sat at dinner Saturday night and looked around at our group, which has doubled in size. Everyone was talking easily, whether they were alums or spouses. The four “extras” all got along beautifully with each other and with all of us. Our close-knit group has grown, but yet manages to still feel the same. We’ve really been able to embrace our friends’ expanding lives.

And they all loved James. Not that I doubted they would, but it is really reassuring to hear my friends tell me how much they like my fiance. And to see how well he fit in with everyone. No tension, no personality clashes, it was like we had always been together.

I cried on Sunday when I had to say good-bye to everyone. They are all moving to Boston, so at least there is a change that I will get to see them every month or two, if we work hard at it.

I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity to introduce my fiance to some of the important people in my life and to give him a glimpse of a school that had a huge part in shaping who I am today.

It was a mushy, squishy, emotional weekend and I am exhausted. But it feels good.

James and I took off this weekend to celebrate his birthday on Cape Cod. I wish we could have stayed a month. Our room was right on the beach with the cutest little kitchen. We had beautiful weather on Saturday, not so great on Sunday.

I told James I would love to have our wedding there. And I would. But not enough to actually do it. I’ve thought about taking a honeymoon there, but it’s not exotic enough. We really want to take the opportunity to go some place we couldn’t get to on a weekend. So I guess we’ll just have to wait until 2009 to spend more than a couple of days on the Cape.

There is nothing so good for a relationship as getting away for a few days. We were on a pretty tight budget, but the beach was free and the room was paid for in January. We had lots of time together and almost nothing to worry about (we did forget to slather on the sunblock at first, because it was cloudy, and we’re both a little sorry about that). Bliss.